can "i'm close!" be our safe word(s)?
oh geez, wrong person.
I just got asked by a man in the alley if i would like to buy 50 dollars of meat for 20 bucks. Its been a weird day.
Dear everyone. As mark stated i did the 'piss n run' last night. This is all new to me and it scares me. Again, sorry. "if i could turn back time" -cher
Woke up this morning 8 levels higher in Call of Duty then when I started drinking... told you I was better when I was drunk.
Haha im Trying. This detox stuff tastes nasty. It's bad when the only thing that came to mind when i took the first sip was how good it would be with Vodka
IS FOOTBALL GONNA SUCK HIS DICK? NO, IT IS NOT
"Let's chug a beer then make out" doesn't sound as nice, but it would prob make him cum right there.
She said she'd heard about my nickname in high school. Apparently sledgehammer isn't as popular as you'd believe...
Did I fall on/off the boat yesterday? Cuz my right leg looks and feels like if it got hit by shrapnel.
I've already come to terms that I'm gonna have to bone a few gross librarians, but hey, it's college
It's acceptable to bring him back to my parents house and fuck on the couch right??
...is this motivational speaking, or sexting? It's getting hard to tell.
He's hot....knda sweaty, drunk smells like feet....but he's hung like a whale....so in other words totally your type
I found a used condom in my purse this morning. It was in there with a bunch of smushed french fries.
Don’t judge me
Some of us don’t have access to dick on a constant basis
Randomize
