I have a dream, to one day wake up next to a girl, walk to the washroom and kick her kids toys out of the way. That day has come, yes we can.
so my mom told me to suck on something if I have to cough. so I guess blow jobs are ok
I couldn't tell if those girls from the bar were lesbians or just awesome
the liquor store owner came out from behind the counter and kissed my cheek when he saw that i am back for fall semester
that was after you ironed the burrito. didn't leave much cheese on the ironing board though
the bar told me i would have to take an hour break so they could wash the shot glasses
Be careful there's warming lubricant on the floor. I will clean and explain later.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
I just bared my soul to you and you fell asleep. Or you're fucking your boyfriend. Either way, not cool. fuck.
Is it too much to ask that I wake up one morning with out a pic of your dick as my wallpaper??
Way to ruin everything
I am drinking jager with a cat, your argument is invalid
Just thought you should know I'm having a reunion tour of Athens this weekend. Minus the weird guy I was fucking last time.
did I ever tell you about my gay jesus theory?
Everyone else's "needs" are getting in the way of my alcoholism.
I dont think the chain smoking, tequila shots or cocaine was good for my bronchitis.
Randomize
