i want you to feel like i'm letting you into my heart, not just my vagina.
Michelle found a bong in the garbage and sold it to my mom
halloween costumes for girls are easy, slutty teacher, slutty cop, slutty nurse, etc...
exactly, that's why i want something interesting
slutty neuroscientist?
My gift to the freshman: I made an illegal stop, rolled out and dropped to my hands and knees and puked in front of the south campus dorms and about 20 families. Welcome to OSU
he literally had a slideshow of all the girls hes had sex with pictures set to american woman
I'd like to say he was whispering sweet nothings into my ear all night but really he was just whispering "pussyyy"
You yelled "sharpie war!" then jammed it in her ear
my roommate is sobbing and looking at photos of elephants. i'm so confused.
I tried to make friends with the geese living behind Hughes. They didn't really like that idea.
Are you high?
I just got dropped off by that cop that pulled you over. Best sex ever! Consider that $140 ticket my birthday present.
Maybe because you rubbed my clit while we were making churros
How's Vegas?
Woke up with a sculpture of my own head. Been trying to find Ashley for two days. so pretty not too bad.
Dude, she had a pound of gunpowder in her closet. I for sure got a fear boner.
i had to win in rock paper scissors, get called a fat whore, and make two dudes get in a fight so we could call next game on the table and you make zero cups. thanks asshole.
the girls would appreciate it if you invited over some drunk, single, straight men with low standards.
Randomize
