Sponge bath it is.
Lets get really high and only speak Spanish to each other again tonight
you know that annoying kid in my psych class? accidentally hit him in the face with a door today. perfect end to the semester.
Peanut butter while high is kinda stressful
didn't know how to tell his mom I was confused about how long we'd been together because we banged for a full year before making it official
Just because its your birthday does not mean u can play quarters by dropping quarters into cups to make me drink.
it's not like i was drunk to the point of NEEDING help...i just wanted someone to offer to hold my hair or something.
If you have shit your pants within the past two years, please take a seat.
What would you say is the recommended tip for a hotel maid who has to clean up vomit on just about every surface of a hotel bathroom?
He's like a hurricane
a drunk, sexist, hurricane
Nothing says Happy Thanksgiving like picking cocaine boogers out of your nose at your parents house.
I woke up to Dragon Ball Z playing in Portuguese and a donut shish-kebab~ed on a dick in my face.
why do i have a pole dance champion shot glass?
Come over I need help. I just almost died in an acid flashback while listening to do You Feel Like We Do off of the Frampton Comes Alive album.
Just got high with dad
Correction: more high. He's sharing gummy bears with me.
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