It really wasn't that bad. Well, it was pretty bad, but only in 3 second bursts.
I'm smoking weed out of a trumpet
I just did a slip and slide down the hall way of my apartment building
Tie
I just cut my nipple shaving
Is it wrong to beat off to a girl to determine if you like her or not?
I'm done trying to be a vegetarian. My vagina smells like hummus.
I woke up hungover and opened my laptop to find that i had googled alcoholism again
Do you think my bosses would frown upon Jameson with breakfast on this holiest of days?
He wanted to put Kesha on after he came in my mouth. I had to draw some sort of trashy, gay line.
I found him. We're on the way back to the condo. He was sitting in the lifeguard stand letting people passing by take pictures of his nipples for a buck each..he made 15 dollars
I take back all of the insults I've ever said toward those money makers
The world is my kaleidiscope. I see whatever the alcohol wants me to.
I've got the dick your vagina needs, but not the one it deserves right now.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
She was chasing her shots with beefaroni and I think I fell in love.
I'm spring cleaning all of the fuck boys out of my life.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
