didnt we say no more talking to eachother
it will help you get over me i promise
im horny
ok i will unlock the door
fun fact: cucumber in vinegar with pepper = best ever high snack
My dignity? Collapsing on itself like a dying star.
Nope, didn't see her. We left when you told us you were going to make the " big beef burrito supreme" even more supreme and you took your dick out.
Strippers tramp stamp says "mom"
we need to stop having unprotected sex.
ya i know. we're like the secret life of the american whores.
I told her the maid must have stolen all my condoms. She bought it
omg i met someone at the bar who sells hair feathers. that are long. saved in my phone as "haiirs deather"
The first couple times was just weird, but after last night, I'm beginning to think you have a real problem banging pregnant women who are carrying someone elses child.
Can you explain to me why there are fake boobs glued on my chest?
Now that makes it sound like you had sex with a guy in batman costume and you never took the mask off so you can't 100 percent be sure.
My 19 year old brother just hooked up with his 45 year old cougar kindergarten teacher. These sorts of situations make me realize why the sorority girls call him Wondercock
I thought the Bane mask would really repel dudes but instead I ended up grinding on a frat dude that whispered "bad bitch contest, you in first place" in my ear in a Batman voice
In my defense, who let the drunk girl run around with a sack of broken glass unsupervise?
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
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