You know you think of me naked too
Not since I found Jesus
just got my goo swallowed for the first time. colors seem so much more vivid now, and more rainbows are outside
OMG - This guy with a mullet just told me - it wasn't a mullet - but his hair dresser layered it wrong. It's so walmart in here. I hate you.
I fucking love fucking science majors-- she told me that she wanted to know if her gag reflex got better or worse with alcohol, and that her initial evidence had been inconclusive. So, next few weeks, yeah, gettin blown periodically. All I have to do is keep a log.
Canada: barely better than America at a sport they invented.
I'm already at the bar. It's 2 PM. Help
It was like having sex with a donkey. Everytime she got close she would kick me.
putting weed in the twinkies box was possibly the best idea you've ever had
In the sauna. Drunk. When I close my eyes I think I'm a dog. Is that wrong?
He has a lot of emotional energy invested in your vagina.
You were so drunk that you didn't even notice when I switched out your shot of jäger for a shot of maple syrup...before or after you drank it.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
I'm trying to blow this guy down here can you please get my husband out of the house.
This morning we had sex while he was wearing a full length fur jacket and sunglasses... I wasn't even phased
He still want's to kick my ass for fucking his sister, probably a bad idea to leave the bar with his ex...
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