do all gilrs hav hair on thier vagaina ?
Don't drive home.
I woke up at 4am on the couch with half my clothes on. And by half my clothes I mean my earrings.
It was ok at first, but now im getting freaked out by him jerking off to me doing yoga
Just saw someone tackle someone else to the ground for their coors light; he's not getting back up.
Yea, now that Irene is hitting us stores aren't selling any alcohol; beer is now a precious commodity.
your bra might or might not be a decoration on me and my roomies xmas tree haha
She didn't need to know her brother was thrown out of a bar for getting head on the dance floor. You're a shit head.
We're so stoned that were both cuddling on the couch and crying over Forest Gump while eating popcorn. She asked me if I'd fuck away the sadness. I think she's serious.
On second thought, is it weird that I scheduled a surgery that determines my fertility around lingerie football night? I might have fucked up priorities.
Absolutely not. I would have done the exact same thing.
smoked four grams out of a bong with a mixture of pool water and white rum. I applaud you for leaving before losing too many brain cells.
I need thought I would ever have to use the phrase "Don't fart on that Calzone".. Thanks for that
She just kept screaming and saying "fucking you is like fucking a mountain"
Nice girl until she takes off the fake human suit and shows you the flesh eating demon she truly is
I got a 93 percent on my last mid term and I was drunk. Think of the possibilities if i were sober for the one thats tommorrow.
No I’m scared man. She sharted. In my car. Wearing a dress. And I still like her.
Wow
The last time we went to a costume party, you walked around in a loincloth with a cross and said you were Jesus. I'm eager to see how much more offensive you can be.
Randomize
