do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
My new apartment is within walking distance of both the liquor store and the chinese buffet. This is either going to be my worst life choice ever or my best.
She nearly killed the mood when she said "Don't cum on my spray tan"
We pulled over so he could pee and the next thing I know he's running down the hill by himself with his pants down
Just found a bottle of tequila in the washer.
booty call birthday vouchers, best idea ever. it's like giving a present to myself for someone else's birthday.
What's a good pandora station to masturbate to?
Also I just sneezed literally 12 times in a row so violently...boogers everywhere. Sorry to ruin the sexting. I just felt like you had to know
I can't believe you didn't come out. There was a duckling ON THE BAR!
I mean I want to go somewhere. I just don't want to put on pants or behave.
Other than unclothed paranormal encounters, how has your day been
Has anyone ever blacked out at an art show your dad brought you to?
He's going to be in the air guitar championships in june. Need I say more.
you ass-dialed me while you were fucking my ex.
that was on purpose.
We sat at the bar and made fun of everyone around us. I'm in love
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