WHO ATE OUR COOKIES WHAT THE FUCK THOSE WERE GOURMET
So my boyfriend is on his way over and there is no time to wash the sheets from when I had his roommate over earlier. Put them in the dryer with a damp bounce sheet. Win?
This is a whole new level of slut for you....do they smell ok?
Even My mom was ashamed of me bringing her home, she pulled me aside, and told me i can do better than, "butter faces"
i gave him the "yep, i was your girfriend's collegiate lesbian sex story" head nod
There is NOTHING better than watching a child being chased by an ostrich.
When I ask you to make sure no ones coming while I'm changing.. The logical friend would keep watch. But you my, best friend come stand in front of me and flash everybody.
Sometimes I hate my life and then I remember I live in the WORLD CAPITAL OF RUM
Big girls don't cry they get day drunk
Once again I am on the toilet and refuse to get up
What a great time to reflect on life
I just used a VHS tape as a plate for sanwich
I'm taking a shit break of discontent as a personal protest
We need to talk about your improper dealings with the town drug dealer.
I mean, you've had my nipples in your mouth now, so I think we've reached a certain level of friendship.
Remeber when we went camping and fucked those two guys? Yeah me either but I'm covered in poison oak so I'm guessing it's from that.
Listen, she cheated on him first. I've known both of them since we were 12. They have no secrets from me. And yes, as a matter of fact, I absolutely did enjoy screaming out his name into his, soon to be, ex wife's pillow.
Randomize
