I want to take you away to a place of dolphin rides and hot stone massages.
my mouth smells like i just ate out a crab.
I just had the ultimate walk of shame. I'm barefoot, in his gym short with vomit in my hair and I walked half a mile through campus. At noon. Thanks for picking up ur phone
I bought my dad an absinthe brewing kit for christmas.. looks like tripping with my dad is in my near future.
No see this is how It goes: guys will fuck virgin girls. But girls don't really want to fuck virgin guys. So you're good have no fear.
hi sober isdnt real. this is a mass rtoomate taext i thing. bye
AMAZING.
don't worry about it. We passed around the "get jeff bail" can 10 min. After you left. We currently have around $400. May I say that people here at the dorms really love you.
When I told him he could take naked pics of me, did I really need to specify that he could not email them to my brother's friends for bragging rights?
end of the world party next friday. virgin sacrifice. tell me you know someone whos still a virgin
Well, we won the drunk before noon contest!
no body wants to do anything today cause it's too cold, but a guy can only masturbate so many times a day. Ya know
So stoned that I pressed the unlock button on my car keys to walk into my bedroom...
I don't think it's ever a good night if I'm this hung over and I didn't even get an orgasm out of the deal...
woke up. showered n got ready. had sex. and was still 15 minutes early to work... its gonna be a good day!
Oh? And how would you explain this to your kids?
"Well pumpkin, when mommies and daddies have loved each other so much for a really long time, sometimes they trade off with other mommies and daddies"
Randomize