I got oddly confused when she started talking in third person in bed.
i just threw up a quarter into the urinal in the bathroom at the bar. everybody else stared then cheered. that drunk
her face looked like how i feel after Taco Bell
it never fails, everytime he manages to fuck my earrings out of my ears.
I fell alseep but then some dude picked me up. Comforter and all stuck a blunt in my mouth and carried me back downstairs because "I wasn't done partying"
I guess I gave him a 20 minute play-by-play of the first three sections of R. Kelly's 'trapped in a closet.'
Already puke and ralleyd and dressed like a bear.
Promise me you won't have sex in my room
I can't promise you that, but I promise you that I'll try
Might want to in your tub tho. That thing is fucking huge.
wearing the bible to the ABC party, thought you'd appreciate that.
My tights ended up on the driveway folded neatly. Any ideas how that happened?
Did we pole dance in front of my boss last night or was it just me?
I woke up to his balls in my face, so naturally I limboed under him and headed to the bathroom. When I came out he was asleep on the floor.
We were gonna go out drinking tonight but she found out she's pregnant so are you free
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
I'm giving drunk me full control of my body for the next few days. Please don't let me die.
Randomize
