Oh My! A car just drove by me a splashed me with a wave of water. I am drenched and soaking wet!
I am sorry--all I heard is that you are wet.
Whenever I miss you I just turn on Tool Academy
just paid a stripper to have a minute conversation about the arizona game WTF
gave myself the "you're a really good girlfriend" talk on the way to where i intentionally cheated on him. i am my own drunken therapist.
He busted his lip while trying to keep from passing out in the pool. The hotel people don't seem to be too concerned that we're passing around a bottle of SoCo at 11 am.
No I'm done finals, but I'm not coming home until these hickeys are gone.
I fucked her wearing an American flag. Now here I am, awake, naked, and flag less. How do I report this to the police?
You're tall, so I have high hopes for your dick.
He stole all of his parent's vodka WHILE they were in the room, and then opened the window and snuck out. I was watching from my truck
thank you for being a reason not to completely check out of my life and start sleeping all day, crying all night, and living off vodka acquired through credit card debt
If you buy me a steak I will make the extra effort to ride you. If not, I'm just gonna lay there.
You know she's gonna fuck shit up when she shows up in a neon wind-suit
I want to die, ON THAT, with that INSIDE ME. ironically, I sense that would be the only time I'd feel alive.
Finally finished unpacking shit from school n found a bra with no idea whose it is... I miss college so much it hurts sometimes
Reverse road head. Sa-witch!!!
Randomize
