Will you still be my friend if I read and enjoyed Twilight?
No
swear to god some girl just crawled out of the washing machine. this is intense.
Some are given great drunkenness. Others have great drunkenness thrust upon them, in the form of ice storms.
At a St Pats house party. Just raised $110 for two short chicks to crawl into a dog cage together. Video forthcoming. Respect.
Where would I incorporate "your boyfriend fucked the shit out of me last night" before or after Merry Christmas bitch?
The cops showed up and one of them got pushed in the pool. When he got out he looked really sad so I got him a towel and hugged him. He arrested all the underage drunkards but me.
2nd year in a row being a arrested before school starts...tradition at its finest
Is cereal technically a soup?
Fuck, I'm high.
If it was any colder outside, the frost from my breath would make a mixed drink
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Saw my drug dealer at Easter mass with his family so that was weird
i thought this was a perfectly normal conversation between two adult men about why this children's cartoon is quality television but no you just gotta be talking shit again
That was the best shit ever it was like an exorcism for my colon
Hey I had a great night last night but I don't want to lie to you I'm only 19 and that wasn't my place its was my cousin he's gone for the summer and I was just house sitting and watching his cat I'm sorry
Well, I was arguably the most sober adult in the house by 1 in the afternoon, so I'd say Superbowl Shitshow was a success.
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