So when does "going out for one drink" = giving some guy an HJ on the sidewalk?!?
"tonights gonna be a goodnight" was blasting at the club while i was screaming "NO ITS NOT" and crying. How do you think it went?
He just said "Chunky" very loudly in his sleep.
We just found a handle of vodka in our fridge and no one knows how it got there. God I love spring break.
It feels wrong to have dick mouth at a family dinner.
So help me Jesus we're never drinking together again. But weekends don't count. Amen.
Apparently he's taking the slut he cheated on me with on a cruise for her birthday. THAT COULD HAVE BEEN ME. TITANTIC STYLE.
I cannot describe the pre-ejaculative horrors thru the medium of text messaging
I know. It was just so disappointing. I almost made it. And now the "when's the last time you peed your pants" clock has restarted. Lol
My mom just told me I look like darth vader. how's your night?
So I'm hiding in my bathroom smoking bowls because my landlords kids came over to visit my dog... My life has reached a new low
you should probably call the Bronx Zoo in the morning to formally apologize
its the right thing to do
Uhm... Found a ziploc bag... In the freezer. Sam, thought it was lemonade. Why did you make frozen piss at my house, again?
i told her we had a class about unicorns together. i'd say it was a good night
I feel like I got hit by a car. But a small car, like a Beetle or a Mini or something.
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