Telling her that my penis is called megatron was not a good idea for a first date.
sorry i interrupted the heart to heart you were having with your bathrobe last night
is it normal that we went to that class once and both got 100's on the final? ohhhh, arizona state.
considering how much of last night I don't remember and the amount of ones laying on my desk right now, it's safe to say I'm concerned
If a Romanian girl's marriage isn't considered legal in the US then she's fair game right?
In case any of you were wondering, kyle is alive. He also intends to do the same thing tommorow night and the night after.Goodnight everyone
Hurry up and get here. I already announced to the bar that you were on a mission to get laid tonight. I have 3 takers.
So... Sorry I threw that watermelon at you the other day. I didn't think it would break any bones.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
I am walking funny today. And it's sad because it's from the bad encounter with the sidewalk rather than a good encounter with a stripper
So doing the math I dated almost 2 of me in penises. Like, if I you layed them out lengthwise it would be 2 times my height.
Did you have ill-advised lesbian sex on the deathbed of their relationship?
Of course. Go big or go home.
You're my fucking queen.
I can give you five reasons its your baby
and I can give you 10 reasons it's not, but I'm busy so I'll just go with you have the wrong number. And also I'm a straight girl.
You'll pass into the great gay beyond
Where it rains cosmopolitans and scantily clad gogo dancers of all genders direct traffic
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
