you turned your livingroom into a bong?
I know the vomits not mine cause its on my back.
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I just saw a girl walk by me wearing a "kiss me I'm pro choice" shirt. Is that a signal for easy access?
If we worried less about pouring champagne down stripper crack, we probably wouldn't skip so many meals.
Stocking up on Wasabi powder. Nobody's tampons are safe.
You mowed a straight line through three yards because you were, and I fucking quote, "In the zone." I think they know.
You give an incredible blow job. I wanted to make sure you know it was appreciated
I'm pretty sure our sex is better than most foods and that says a lot too bc I really like food
just found out that my aunt grows weed. today is a good day to be me.
Star Wars means nothing to me. I know only the basics. Darth is Luke's father. R2 is short, C3 is gold. Yoda sings Rainbow Connection. The kinda stuff EVERYONE knows.
As a side note, can you ask the maintenance staff not to drag their balls on our stairwell handrails. Please.
I just watched a magician wearing a fedora deep throat a balloon\n
3 hour lecture of my biology teacher talking about isotopes and space shuttles. I'm way too high for this.
You kept on yelling traitor and threatened to kill him and everyone he loves because he played beerpong with someone else
Randomize
