we were having sex in the shower and he dropped me. try explaining THAT to your concerned little brother
do you think i can make that microwavable cake stuff with vodka instead of water?
you should probably use water
i dont have any
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
He is to the point where he forgot I was in the front seat of his car while he was taking me home...that stoned
We came back and there was a shotglass filled with what looks like blood. Come over soon, we're gonna try it out.
I'm eating the rest of the Xmas shrooms and welcoming 2012 by communing with the pine cone.
It's legal now for me to leave my boyfriend and marry you.
I just woke up eating some beef jerky with my cat. I think she opened the bag for us.
FML I accidentally sent the text about his bruised balls as a group text that included his brother and my boss.
I just woke up hand cuffed to the bar and shirtless, so yeah I think I need you to come get me.
Seriously where are the good guys?
The friend zone.
i can believe you didnt get any, i was wing-girling the shit out of him
all you did was repeatedly scream GET IT IN
Wine. Check.\nDino chicken nuggets. Check.\n#IssaParty
He let me share his family pack of hot pockets with him. Chivalry isn't dead after all.
Ahhh, the bane of our relationship.... His mediocre penis
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