It looked like if robin williams had a vagina
So, it's like build-a-bear for your vag?
This is a whole other level of drinking. Like the I used to eat paste with these people kinda drinking.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I got out of bed with her to go smoke a bowl with her roommate which was fine but I passed out when I went upstairs to take a piss.
Yeah.. she's probably not gonna call.
Even my psychiatrist thinks I should fuck the married guy.
Is there really anything more beautiful than opening a fresh box of wine on a Friday afternoon?
I just walked away from a youth soccer tournament popping every birth control pill I had left in the pack.
It's the happiest looking penis I've ever seen. It should have a top hat and a spectacle on and soft shoe across the room with a cane. He's a cheery little feller.
I guess I was blacked out I hopped a fence and hugged a cow that night.
GOOGLE HAS JUST RELEASED AN UPDATE THAT ALLOWS YOU TO CATCH POKEMON USING MAPS. Pack your shit, our time has COME.
If you don't wanna wax my ass just say so.
Ended up in his bed... He's passed out holding me and his bulldog is laying across my legs. Both snoring. HELP!! I wanna go home!
Should I tell him how he got the bruise on his ass or just enjoy his theories?
Noted. Next time you want to get fried chicken and cocaine.
Ok. That just sounds baller.
Randomize
