Nah got too drunk to function...probably could have dragged something home over my shoulder if the cops didn't roll
i was like the pretty and slutty 8th grade girl who goes to a party, gets wasted, and ends up having sex with a senoir
details?
alcohol + bed + penis = sex
6 figure salary? he just got a little cuter.
I just farted in the dogs face to show him who's boss
Heyyyy darlin are you busy?
Why hello drunk Jake. It's sober Sarah, I'll tell drunk Sarah you booty called. She'll probably be around tomorrow night.
I got Green Bay stickers to put on my nipples. This way when I flash it will look like I did it out of spirit as opposed to drunkenness
im never drinking wine from a person in a wet suit and goggles ever again.
Were going to have to vacuum the bathtub, great party
Fake an illness. Her and her friends are like the female version of guys who wear tapout shirts
I blew him while watching the aristocats. There were singing cats in the background. I think he he hummed along at one point.
He broke the bed, AND shit in the closet. What a way to lose his virginity. What a night.
A bee came out of the shoe box and stung her. Even the insect community doesn't want her in those hideous things.
Like these jerks could have told me it wasn't a video call, I wouldn't have put on pants.
I'm glad you enjoyed the night but why were you calling me "daddy"?
my hair smells like a mixture of fireworks and rotten eggs with a hint of shame. it's so strong it's keeping me awake.
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