I bought canned wine on a clearance aisle at the liquor store... I feel like I'm living in an episode of It's Always Sunny.
she said shes getting her period tomorrow so she wants to have sex now. i didnt object. it would have been heartless.
ofcourse you didnt.
We were fucking on his hammock and right as he came we flipped over. I landed on him, he landed on a pile of pinecones. We're done with nature sex.
dude. you ripped the mardi gras beads off the girls neck and yelled she didnt deserve them..
I mean, I can get to know him eventually. The time frame doesn't really matter. I'll have sex with him regardless of whether he's interesting or not.
Dude. There's gotta be an article in Cosmo about it cause I've had three different girls tongue tickle my brownie this month.
See, thats where im at with my life, welcome to the slut yaht we will be cruising comfortably all summer at an extremely drunken relaxing pace S.S. Slut Bucket
I think she finds the idea of a naked fat man lying on the table and holding our butter offensive
Well I mean he is in a slightly seductive pose
Hot freshmen.....hot freshmen chicks everywhere
You say this every welcome week, bro.
I sent him an 18 page sext. He's going to have a good morning.
I feel like my nipples were chewed on by alligators.
Ugh. I guess I'm crying loudly or something. My mom just came in and gave me milk, chocolate, a Xanax, and her weed "for the break up blues". Her ways of affection are so odd.
Sorry I got completely naked in your bed, but I feel our friendship has grown because of it.
She's in it for that fear factor ya'll. Obsession and stalking or nothing.
So I have three weeks to get rid of his girlfriend and fuck him senseless before he goes to jail
Randomize
