i would rim the shit out of meg ryan
I think i just got paid for sex with a hot pocket... and i accepted
So my girlfriend used a threesome to tell me she wanted to leave me for a girl... Not entirely sure how I should feel about that.
If you can get her to make out with you without paying for it, I will personally make you president of the american lesbian league
We went from zero to drunk tank in 45 minutes.
Awareness is good for change and all, but ignorance is bliss. I like bliss.
It is officially settled in my mind that fuck the hot grad student is THE goal this year
Besides you're a Tennessee fan and it'd be against my religion to have your penis inside me today.
Just set myself on fire a little bit. Made me think of you.
Just met my French neighbor. We watched a crow die together, so we're pretty tight.
You ate my pie without asking. So don't get butt hurt if I send you link to plus size clothing stores.
Business idea: assless chaps for toddlers. I'm high.
Mmm vodka always tastes better when i know i have work at 8am
We're both fucking guys named Frank. Our friendship was meant to be.
Is it still sex if there's no nudity, no orgasms, but the neighbors bang on the wall and ask you to stop? I've honestly forgotten.
Randomize
