Reason #1 for no sex outdoors: Mosquito bites. Awkward, awkward mosquito bites.
She's like the pied piper of lesbians.
He was eating mac and cheese. Raw. Like as in he was eating the uncooked noodles then pouring the dry cheese in his mouth.
Word is he has some crazy hawaiian STD
i dont care how hungover you are, go back to the frat house and get him. HE IS 11.
I just finished deleting miscellaneous contacts from my phone ... time for a HIV test!
Im sleeping in your bed. Sorry for the sand and the noise and the loud people. Im starving
Your blankets are not drunk friendly
I would think I was a stalker too if I wasn't myself
i'm half naked talking to a cat. you don't have to justify your life to me.
Just wanted you to know two things, 1st I sent the second thing to a broad ive been talking too. 2nd that was not just a fart.
I told him he deserved someone better...then I told him he looked very fuck-able wearing nothing but sweat pants. We'll break up in the morning.
Getting stoned and sitting front row in a legal class.. Not my best idea
No more going to class sober.. Tried it for a day or two, its just not for me
I'm in too deep with Breaking Bad. I realized I've altered my Tinder likes to people that either look like Jesse or work in a school's Science department.
I hear jingle bells and I can't tell if it's bc I'm feeling festive or just REALLY high
Randomize
