You were asking people if they could pee on you while you shotgunned beers
Bt dubs, I still have cuts on my arm from when you attacked me with a dildo on Saturday night.
i am high, trapped with a bunch of skaters and asians watching a cat on lsd on youtube, the girl on the couch next to me is getting fingered, and there is lady gaga playing. god has forgetten about me
who do I fuck, the girl waiting for me upstairs or her roomate making me mac and cheese right now?? This is the single hardest decision I've always wanted to have to make
I just texted him to come over because I want to see if his hand fits the handprint bruise on my ass.....I feel like the cinderella of S&M
You guys need to get along, there is no need for a pissing contest...We're all fucking each others ex's.
She somehow inhaled a tack last night, she's having surgery today.
I made out with Jen. We were naked. I'm still gay. Forever
Why do you have to go to the hospital?
I gotta apologize to a male nurse who's tryin to press assault charges on me
Empowerment dancing to Touch Me in the Morning by Diana Ross. Handling this breakup SO well.
we were sitting on his couch watching tv and laughing at how funny the voices on the commercial were, then we realized the volume wasn't on.
Porch rule of tonight: when you sing, you must use "something" as a microphone. The person to use the most "creative" object gets the door prize...so far Stephie is winning with Jennifer's dog.
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
we got kicked out of the bar last night for sneaking into the back kitchen and eating handfulls of cheese in the walk in fridge
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
Randomize
