the power's out. i'm smoking weed by flashlight
i wish i was dedicated to anything like you are to weed
I'm telling lies about you to make you look like a good person
you poured 3 beers into an empty vase and then passed out, so i drank them for you. don't say i'm not a good friend.
Well he asked to have a sober hang out so i guess that constitutes as a date in college
just because you are in college doesnt mean its okay to pregame easter mass.
I was passed out on the couch, she literally cut my boxers off with a 8" chef's knife and had her way with me.
Is it a step in the wrong direction to ask my parents for a kegerator for graduation?
I'm kind of concerned that there are now two different videos of me with knives
I just realized. my grades aren't ready for st patties day...
Well he can play the xylophone with his erect cock... So he's got that going for him
Also, if he asks how he's doing orally I can probably ask if we're exchanging Christmas presents?
I just googled: how soon can I pee on a stick. What is my life coming to.
Yeah bc that's when u should take a Molly. At a house party with everyone from ur hometown
he took my bra off with his teeth, THEN decided he just wanted to make out and cuddle. i don't know what the female version of blue balls is, but i've been living with it since 1 a.m.
Remind me to tell you: When threeways go awry, my MLK weekend story.
Randomize
