all ten of us were sitting in his room with the lights off and staring at his colorful moving screensaver for two hours. That high.
Fell off bed. Face first. 10 stitches. huge scar on forehead. totally going to start telling ppl my parents died fighting Voldemort.
If she's telling you consent laws theres probably a reason
i think he spiked my sandwich with a viagra
He wanted to drink hypnotic from my butt crack. I need to move out this state.
i am one fart away from being 2 for 2 on this whole shitting my pants thing.
I gave him a bunch of ideas to use to spice up their sex life. Say what you will, I am the best 'other' woman ever!
Well, during the ride home I had to personally apologize to both of her breasts.
I feel like a pizza delivery girl of vagina tho
Me and tommy were trying to figure out why our printer was jammed, found a condom stuck in the paper slot. #collegeprobs
Well I either feel like the fat girl or very accomplished because his bed is now broken in three places
Also I can show up hungover, fall asleep at my desk, and smell like a bottle of whiskey, and they still like me more then my shitty co worker
THE AUSTRALIAN IS SINGLE AS FUCK.
Jack and I got in a huge fight at 6am. He fell asleep when I was giving him head so I freaked. We were both black out so I made a memo in my phone reminding me
Guess who just stumbled into work hungover, wearing yesterday's clothes, covered in hickeys and glitter, and carrying a giant bottle of rum in her purse.
I just took plan B at work.
This is the greatest story of all time.
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