its mom's weekend..did we need to couger proof the apt?
Do you think it would be a good idea to mention in my admissions essay that I was the guy that streaked across the soccer field last year?
So i realized that if i bought everything from my google search history for the past week i would have a dolphin, a wolf costume, a unicorn costume, a katana and a bullet proof vest. Not sure how the dolphin would fit in but the rest of it would end up in one awesome night or someone would die. Either way i say we do it.
You kept whispering "Party Dave" every time someone would start talking.
I'm currently looking on facebook to see how slutty the girls from my kindergarden class are now. I have a problem.
Just stared at a tree for a solid 5 minutes because I thought a German Shepard was perched on a limb.
Not every day do you see a hooker getting arrested at noon. Just kidding, we live in Reno.
Just switched my underwear without taking my pants off don't ever be ashamed to be related to me
I'm trying to get fucked by 4 girls here, and you're worried about verb tenses?!
DIBS ON THE NEW GUY.
NO. NO FUCKING YOUR COWORKERS
O was like, nah, fuck 50-50. My version of bi is that i'm 80% gay, 20% drug-addled decisions. Apparently he's straight on hallucinogens.
Jk probs not coming. Tequila
Your shirt... Was in my pants
Yeah you're weird. You once told me you would by me a house in the middle of sex. Like as you were thrusting.
My makeup bag looks like it has lips and wants to sing to me... Too high?
Randomize
