if you force a hooker to have sex with you and dont pay her would it be rape or theft? something to ponder
You never realize just how much you have to be thankful for until you almost shit yourself in a Target.
some how when im high sleep beats hunger...its like how paper beats rock it doesnt make any fucking sense but it still happens
Is it socially acceptable to order two burrito bowls?
anything's socially acceptable if you do it with enough confidence
My favorite part about you getting arrested is having to explain the prosthetic leg in the front seat.
I think it was our ex-neighbor Mike. He leaves Taco Bell outside our door a lot
He'll drop off his extra tacos at our place bc he's super high when he orders & can't eat them all
Its like a relationship where they cockblock each other.
She showed up in lingerie and a turtle backpack full of bacardi. I think its love.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
I'm not saying I haven't been that drunk. I'm just saying I haven't been that drunk and then have cops buy me shots.
I just got a job offer for Australia. Unfortunately I have given the name of Whitney
we told you you couldn't get your dick sucked because you were a girl and you yelled at us and said we were 'discriminating you'
The cop looked me right in the eye and apologized for cock blocking me.
There are some people who should not be trusted with a cell phone while drunk. You know your one of them when you call the cops on your own party.
hey i'm sure you are probably asleep bc you suck and think sleep is necessary to live or something?
Randomize
