First, he can't make me cum.. And now, he can't get it up because he LOVES me?!!??! i don't think so.
Some 6 yr old girl just got on my plane in St. Louis. She was wearing an I Love Canada shirt. She eyed the seat next to me and I stared her straight in the eyes and shook my head. Fuck her. Fuck canada.
Get dressed up for her? please, I could shit my pants and she would still blow me
just saw a girl come out of the tanning bed room on crutches, now thats determination
I think this baby is eyeing my beer
we were canoeing in the lake and i asked if he was too drunk for this, and he said "don't worry about it, i'm half native american"
My worst case scenario tonight is that I fuck a hot Swiss girl. Let that give you perspective on my life at the moment.
Do you think I should still be the condom fairy for Halloween even though I'll be like.. Almost 8 months pregnant?
Hahaha I don't remember taking it away. But no one should have a sledgehammer at a party. NO ONE.
I'm throwing in the towel on today. The puke gods have won this war
He laid on the ground 100 ft from the car crying about how he just wanted to be home already
It is a fiery spray of napalm-covered beautiful words that leave a flaming "fuck you" on the ground after I destroy him.
if a girl cums in a dorm room and no one hears it did it really happen?
Thanks for the hospitality last night.
You mean sex?
Yes....hospitality.
Like how do you live your life and have never made a grilled cheese? The audacity of some people
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