who are you and why are you in my phone as dr. seuss
so i replaced his speed with my ped egg shaveings
dont u have athletes foot?
Intervention is following me on twitter.
wow.
You found Muppets From Space a little too intense, so you just sorta sat on the ground and stared at the wall plug for an hour and a half.
I was too drunk to read the menu, let alone her body language.
I honestly don't know what my boundaries are, but shitting on me is crossing them.
I tried to put a seat belt on in the shower. And I'm 80% sure I ate soap.
Dude that girl I hooked up with Tuesday is in lecture. I told her I was from the Dominican visiting my cousin and was leaving the next day. Hiding under my hood and hangover.
He told me my outfit made me look like a twelve year old then proceeded with "but you don't look like a whore"
I definitely think you should enjoy one last spring break being a sorostitute before you get serious and settle down with price charming. I mean hes not going to be there any way. he can wait a week.
Pretty sure my first birthday present will be a pic of an 18-year-old's cock. And I am OK with that
Okay Im still jerking off but now with the Reality of Law School Looming In The Distance
A+ Viking dick
His balls will have been in my mouth at least once by this time tomorrow.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
Randomize
