I am about to get in a knife fight over a corn dog.
The stripper on stage Is eating a mozzarella stick while on the pole....that's a new level of I don't give a fuck
I just had a Brazilian done for this guy. He's getting first-date sex whether he wants it or not.
Ice cream after masturbating>masturbating any other time
On a scale of 1 to 3, with 1 being the smallest and 3 being the largest, what size nipple pasty do you think I am?
Hay for your next interview you should go in with fake blood on your cloths and tell them you just finished saving a life, then cry
So apparently nutella and chocolate body paint aren't actually the same thing.
Well, you've continued the theme of living with people who's dicks I've sucked.
fucked a girl in the dry storage closet at work. knocked over a whole rack of tomato paste and pinto beans. and also i really hope my manager doesn't review this footage from the security camera
It's cool bro. The video I have of you drunk trying to fix it with the sonic screwdriver was worth it.
Well, I currently have zero fuckboys and my vibrator just broke. A fresh start to May.
I already popped my bottle of Rose and took my boxers off. No can do muchacho
Woke up from a black out in a strangers Jeep without phone, shoes, or wallet.
Every morning should start with 2 orgasms and a shoulder massage
I have bruises everywhere an I broke the lamp. So ya I'd considerate rough sex.
Randomize
