I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
when i got home i made myself toast with butter & put pasta on it. I know this cause it's all over my bed.
I need $500 dollars more than I need a night of dignity... I gonna do it.
Did the vodka turn my hair yellow or did something else happen last night?
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
I couldn't find pants for like 20 minutes so I was butt ass naked just sitting on your floor
That which doesn't kill you gives you an excuse to get shitfaced later
Also... I'm unsure what to do with my face while someone is choking me during sex. Like I feel like its hard to look flattering.
Just had my first american. He tasted like freedom.
He showed me his sex playlist and it looked good, so I slept with him.
We are bad people. This is why we are friends. <3
She's chasing the cat around the house hitting it with a cardboard sword yelling "there can be only one!"
They picked up the lamp, held it aloft, and proclaimed apropos of nothing “this is going right up my ass”. LOUDLY
when you come over can you bring tequila and my birth control? Thanks girl!
Randomize
