You should've come with us, we're at Home Depot looking for men.
your transformation into a slut upon entering college is like a shakespearian tragedy
The crowing achievement of my life is still the time I made a 3 course meal out of things I found in the dumpster.
what part of “beer fountain” do you not understand
Hey, I can't get ahold of Tommy. Let him know his ex-girlfriend is pregnant.
She gave me head while using a laptop on my stomach to go online. I've never seen a better feat of multitasking.
I need a picture of your dick for my friends birthday card
When hitting a Woodchuck bottle with a machete, glass will fly back and cut your face.
I hope you did not try this.
I called my dad at 3 a.m. because I thought he'd be proud that I didnt get arrested. Daddys little girl at her finest...
it's a simple rule - pass out shirtless on the couch, become an airsoft target.
Drinking ketchup directly out of the bottle does not make it tomato juice.
I am at Brians in a pirate costume, what the hell am I thinking
My little brother found me on Instagram. If I'm not already the shame of my family, I'm about to be.
You were drinking whiskey from a beer bottle i dont know what you really expected...
Last night I realized my life is an experiment of really bad decisions when I had to leave without my underwear. But at least I'm expanding my life experience.
Randomize
