She's hot, in a Megan Fox with Down's Syndrome kinda way. Like, she'd win Miss Deliverance Pageant
At least she's the hottest one. Oh well, it's all about stats
i'd like someone to explain to me why my clothes are all sticky. including my fanny pack. yes, this is a mass text.
Wearing a Sarah Lawrence sweatshirt is like wearing a shirt that says, "I'm getting a degree in substitute teaching."
look, i may have sacrified a 20% assignment for a sprite. this is what hangovers do to me.
Like if god were to send me a cock shot, that's what it would look like.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
The worst decision I made last night was allowing myself to be duct taped to the ceiling
Indeed. Apparently I called my sisters and told them I wouldn't get arrested because it's not a real sword.
Tell him to dress up like Shaggy and kidnap him then bring him to me. We can pretend. Imaagination.
Come get your sister, she's waving a shoe about and threatened to "teabag the Shit" out of the doorman because she can't check the shoe in.
It's like you know you got fucjed up when you wake up and check fir your own pulse
I don't know what you're doing this morning, but obtaining Plan B is my number-one priority.
I just had sex with a man wearing a Darth Vader helmet....he pressed the voice button the whole time that said "I am your father". I don't think I can ever come back from this
Hey know anyone who wants 58 lbs of whole frozen chickens for a couple bowls?
Dude, the T Swift concert might not be so bad after all. Can you say milfs living vicariously through their teenage daughters? Score.
Randomize
