i permit you to call me
Why does it always sting when I'm breaking the seal taking a piss?
b/c u have herpes
No i said "always", not "since 2003" Asshole.
She actually asked me 'is it in yet?' I deleted the vid.
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Oh well. haha. i couldn't really understand what she was saying. i just nodded a lot. i guesss she found that sexy.
gotta love spring break
gotta love slutty girls from the south
There's a stripper banging on the door demanding to see you.
if I just puked into my own hand, but then cleaned it up quickly, quietly, and calmly, am I still a trainwreck?
Did you like my voicemail? Sounded like I was being murdered, right?
By a pack of ravenous dildos
True but, who really needs money in europe? Just barter with sexual favors. A bowl of cereal is worth a blowjob.
Please tell me you're not playing strip poker with your cousins again
Wound up hungover. Visiting 4 y/o nephew suggested cookies and milk and playing Kirby with him with the sound down. This kid is going places.
Will u lay on an air mattress with me and drink vodka while we listen to Rick James?
I'm floating on a rainbow and a purple elf is giving me advice. COME NOW!!!
God damn you Coronavirus! I'm jonesing I got the itch. I would fully satisfy a horse for some Taco Bell or Perkins. God help me I'm going insane but I definitely don't want to get sick.
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