I haven't seen him in over a year. He asked me to his prom over myspace. Is he fucking serious?
I woke up to him trying to put his dick in my mouth. When I asked him what he was doing he said he was trying to make me stop snoring...
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
Hes still not moving. At what point does 'hungover' become 'hospital-time?'
FOUR LOKO IS YES. SUNDAY MORNING DRUNK IS YES.
This is how we made chicken soup last night: Whole chicken in a pot of vodka with a box of crackers and some carrots. We should go pro.
I am definitely the only sober one on this train. And the only one not wearing a business suit. Wow, Monday Korea.
You missed lesbians having sex in the bathroom and the whole bar clapping for them. I had to do recon. It was amazing
I am sleeping in the bathtub because my bed is too soft.
So yeah he had good weed?
We could have casual sex if you want. But I can't offer a bromance to a woman.
I ordered more beers for everyone but had to finish them all. I promptly went outside and projectile vomited in the street. Three times.
He called me saying he got nice rims for his car so now we can fuck in style
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
oh.. my GOD my dad just text me... "i need a naked women" ........... help?
its 4am. iam sitting in the luggage car of the train eating beef jerkey. i feel like a hobo.
dont insult. no hobo is as pathetic as you.
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