Btw I've read that book you bought me...And I'm such a bitch now
But I don't think guys love me
i think its awesome that according to your mom i'm your friend that caught on fire.
He keeps whispering to me that he can't wait to tie my hands up with my wig?
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Whatever. He's going to tie me up tonight whether he wants to or not.
Oh boy. Send him a care package with laxative cookies and alcohol. So he can shit himself while he's passed out drunk.
ugh... fuck pirate breakfast. my head is like thirsty.
The security deposit's gone, let's trash this motherfucker
oh god I've lost the ability to distinguish between 'star trek' and 'the future'
Well, I guess that's how life goes for my dad. One minute you're walking with your cooler on the afterglow of a Lynyrd Skynyrd concert, the next you find your grown son choking out a drunk redneck against your pickup truck.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I JUST HAD TO SNORT THE REST OF MY BAG OF COKE BECAUSE THE BAG RIPPED IN THE WORK BATHROOM.
I'm guessing you feel amazing due to all the caps?
LETS GET THIS SHIT DONE. IM GONNA GET THIS SHIT DONE, FOREVER.
For full disclosure: I told my roommates last night that you have a very clean asshole.
The beauty of his penis is distracting me from the fact that he was born after Princess Diana died
i still cant feel my toes or walk straight...its been 2 days.
Randomize
