Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
aparently i pased my english final. I don't even remember taking it.
I don't really see how asking you not to cum on my face or hair makes me high maintenance
Is it bad that I see a party full of girls I know he has fucked as a challenge for me to be the one who ends up in his bed?
Just got a blowie during the Avengers. It's weird knowing that the high point of your life just happened.
YOU WERE HAVING SEX IN THE SAME BED I WAS SLEEPING IN. AND YOU GRABBED MY HAIR. OF COURSE I'M PISSED.
Im pretty sure that girl just said "Im taking you home even if your girlfriend has to come too." Why are we here again?
no one ever believes me when I try explaining to them that your straight. I'm all like, "yeah that's his girlfriends dress he's stretching out"
Ok despite the fact that both you and I love dick we could have a great marriage
Help me help you realize you are a moron
You should feel special! You're also the only person I've ever punched during sex
- I'm finally learning to be functional when I'm high. I feel like this is a milestone.
Hey so I got my period
Thank god I wasn't ready to deal with sober you for 9 months
...Just hit my fuck buddy with my car.
As of right now, my vibrator and a bag of snickers share the same drawer
Randomize
