do you think the kids from 7th heaven are mad that dennis and sweet dee are their half-brother and sister?
I was dancing barefoot on glass at one point. That really sobered me up.
The vibrator you gave me is probably the one thing I will never give up if we got robbed at gunpoint
Pre-crushing the pills for tomorrow morning. This way I can sleep in an extra 10 minutes.
She is high at the bar - she thinks the bottle of frangelico is aunt jemima telling her to stop doing drugs.
In honor of the internet blackout, I think everyone needs to change their Facebook pictures to ones of them being blacked out.
Dude he was a used car salesman for his friends' penises. I know I have something here that's right for you!
You would be my first round pick for a drinking team
And don't try to lose a condom in me tonight. My vagina is not a storage compartment where you can just leave something and try and use it again later in the week.
If I come home tho and find u passed out naked in my bed with the bottle of crown empty, we're gonna have issues.
I'm sorry, I can't help the fact that I like to sleep naked, and I like booze, together it looks bad, yes.
I'm not sure. But a mason jar of drug free urine just as soon as anyone can would be so awesome.
I think I have a bro crush.. When I imagine him, I imagine him waking up to go take a shower and just finding three bitches making out waiting for him. Like that awesome.
I'm not sure... But I think I just found a porno I starred in during my black out week of '08.
I thought this boy told me to choke him, so I went all in. Turns out he really said “stroke.”
I’m good. I learned that a guy ate the mushrooms that were growing out of his toilet, so there’s that.
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