NO FUCKING WAY. PLEASE MAKE HER IMPLANT THAT POOR KID INTO A RESPONSIBLE UTERUS.
he doesn't care that i have a boyfriend so why should i?
logic in its finest
I mean I'm not worried about us not getting wasted. I'm more worried that I'll be doing a Boris yeltzen impression by 1030.
When we started taking double shots of vodka and chasing it with a lick of fruit roll-ups, I knew there'd be hell to pay in the morning.
whatever, you made your decision to be a responsible student and where did it get you? a pushed back exam and no blowjob.
Numbies before the dentist, such a good idea.
for the record, graham crackers won't get the taste of cock out of your mouth. also we're out of graham crackers
Welcome to texting with Mike. You're now leaving the sober section and headed to our insanely high bad decision making portion of mike. Enjoy the trip.
When did you hit me on the head with a stool?
I went full Overly Attached Girlfriend. You never go full OAG.
Remember the bouncer that knocked out Dave and Sam? Apparently his day job is a florist. Uppercut and fresh cut in one package.
Please don't explain what tea bagging is to my mother.
Dave is getting a lap dance to the venga boys
this is not a drill
He unofficially told me he deleted his tinder because of me. I think that’s a pretty romantic gesture in 2018
whoever decided snowing in 90 percent of campus on a night when the streets are flowing with tequila and skittles was clearly not an R.A.
Randomize
