At least we lost an hour tonight! Less time to make a fool of myself
Are they engaged or just dating? Girlfriends come and go but the memory of sex at the pool last forever.
TINY HANDS NOT FOR BUTTHOLES
This is going everywhere on the internet.
I almost itched my nose with the lit end of a cigarette. Help.
Well apparently I decided it was easier I piss in the trash can at waffle house than In the toilet. Would've been ok if the trash can was in the bathroom.
I'm drunk at 3:28
I'm jealous as shit at 3:34
Haha ohman remember when I peed in your blender? Gotta love college.
YOU DID WHAT???
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I'm not over that dildo rifle story. I don't think I ever will be.
Something I never want to forget. I'm in a porta potty and she is outside knocking on the door going "You're a queen. You're a queen. Never think any different"
Just realized tomorrow is the anniversary of the time Dean and I glued DJ's leg back together with Neosporin and an Ace bandage. I'm bringing red velvet cupcakes to the party to celebrate.
Dont... please don't. Don't fuck him on his bean bag bed
You woke up at like 4 in the morning fell off your bunk bead, yelled at Nic for asking if you were ok, walked to the kitchen, pissed on the keg, and then looked at me and said "Still not worth it" then went back to bed.
I may or may not be drinking in a church parking lot.
i realized my signature handshake has now become a hookup. i love what college has done to me.
Randomize
