Shit chicky whatchu wearin rt now, ur skins?
Oh dear, kinda... in ur sweats!
U look good, r we getting naked in ur car?
I've spent too much of my life staring at my bberry and counting to 5 to see if it blinks
Mother nature decided I wasn't going to be a whore today. Fuck her.
You act like this is the first time i've fingered two 17 year olds at the same time
She's never going to forget it... Christmas Anal.
Do you know how difficult it is to give head to someone who's imitating Forrest Gump?
I'm sitting here in nothing but my panties, eating beef jerky and reese's for breakfast.Today is not the day to expect me to make sound life decisions.
All inclusive resorts are actually just places that livers go to die.
that bad?
u-n-l-i-m-i-t-e-d. f-r-e-e. t-e-q-u-i-l-a.
I will kill you in such a brutal way if you ever de-pants me again on the dance floor it will make the stock market ticker
Welcome to a new world. May the gods of weed smile upon you as you embark on exploring this new dimension.
It would have been nice to break the dry spell with nice, civilized, sober sex somewhere other than on my friend's couch.
I was jerking him off and in two seconds he went from "oh yeah that feels good" to "what day is Thanksgiving again?" and then back again. Like wtf.
Then he said,"I love you like a sister I like to have sex with."
They made me leave the maternity ward, how do I get back in?
After we fucked we sat in bed and watched Charlie St. Cloud and he fed me ice cream. It was probably the most romantic thing I've ever done.
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