These people need to leave so I can have rum and Doritos at work like every other American.
I mean i might have to drop this class tomorrow. I just walked into a midterm
By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
a girl is trying to cook hot pockets in a saute pan on the stove.
Just found pics of us from Mardi Gras last year. Your boob job really is better than mine.
If you're trying to subtly tell me that I look like Connie Chung, just stop it. I already know.
3 things. 1. is this real life 2. my liver hates me 3. keg race tonight
For some reason there are two like 10 year old black girls crumping at the bar. I feel like I'm in a missy elliot video.
She tried to kill herself by taking a whole packet of panadol. I mean HELLO THAT'S ME EVERY SUNDAY MORNING.
We're knee deep in HJ's right now.
You called me to pick you up from the bar at 9:00. When we drove over the speed bumps you put your hands in the air and pretended you were on a roller coaster.
After seeing all of the pics during the trial, all I could think was "her vagina doesn't look THAT dangerous"
Our motto for the night: BLACK OUT OR BACK OUT.
That's our motto every night.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
he's 22 and listens to dad music. if i hear one more modest mouse song i'll never blow him again
Randomize
