How is it? Sketchville?
cheap drinks and peanuts cancel out any form of sketchiness
Do you realize we just stole 12 dollars worth of quarters each from the office petty cash just to get manicures? New high or New Low?
Blind date just said "Can't wait till I'm married so i can let myself go". There will be no second date.
I woke with a ring of glitter around my dick.... I kinda don't want to wash it off
The theme is smores and alcohol. Dress appropriately.
I found him in the livingroom trying to soak up broken glass with the clock from the kitchen.
He had a beer bottle in each of his back pockets and was on rollerblades. All I remember is following him for about 10 minutes
Things I just found under my covers: protein bar, string cheese, vibrator.
There's two sisters at this place and they look competitive. Try for a threesome tonight?
I can taunt you with whatever I want. Like batman and sex.
Don't use or open the microwave. It's full of smoke. Buying a new one tomorrow, will explain.
i went to the 24h massage place last night and brought down the price for a hand job from $50 to $12.75 and half the big mac left in my bag.
Dude he's moving to fucking Germany now. What is it about your vagina that makes men want to flee the continent?
Stripping out of my teacher clothes to Talk Dirty to Me. Who let me become a teacher?
I just want to order a very large pizza and get very drunk and very laid.
Randomize
