Dude, you posted a cap of a porn to survey if it looked like me. That's pretty certifiably creepy.
im going to live freely with my legs opened and my heart closed
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
Is it physically possible to shit out my own bone marrow? Because if not, then I need to see a doctor immediately.
Make this decision based on your love for dick - NOT based on the fact that its probably one of the worst things you've ever thought of doing
No, the responsible one does not yell out "lets go to iHop" at 5 in the morning to a bunch of drunk people with munchies.
I experienced pure joy just moments ago when I looked down and saw that I had another pop tart to consume down my mouth hole.
I am the sex elephant in the room. Again.
I have words... I can't think of them tho. they keep melting together and forming you and I just want to hump it.
Her alarm in the morning was Best Day Ever from Spongebob. I'm have lots of conflicting feelings right now...
I was told i took a shot doing a headstand in the backseat then proceeded to barf all over my face
I had no idea you were so talented.
I was really surprised he asked for my number the next morning..... and my name.
suburban family judging/laughing at us after Jenna just pulled two flasks out of her boot on the subway
When the people downstairs start talking about drugs, I second guess buying my drugs from them. Then I remember they are cheap and convenient.
We have ur drink. Mom passed out in the bathroom. I'm goin to the other bathroom. Bs at the top of the stairs on way outside.
Randomize
