theres a dog humping me and im not going to stop it... i really need to get laid.
good penises are hard to come by.... must be the economy...
i mean, we fucked on the futon in the garage where his band practices. pretty sure im now obligated to like his band on facebook.
If letting him bang me while i'm wearing reindeer antlers and a painted red nose isn't the christmas spirit, I dont know what is
You threw up on yourself, then proceeded to tell us "to not make a mess in your car"
They better compete for your attention. Dual to the fuck
Attn: you have now used your free, one time admission to pleasure town. Thank you for visiting I hope you enjoyed your trip. All future trips to P.T. Will cost you full admission price. We have different pricing plans to accommodate different situations, and remember it is more of a bartering system than a set price. Your patronage is always welcomed and once again thank you for visiting and have a fantastic evening.
I made him leave at 3am, he texted me a couple minutes later and said the elevator was broken and he was sleeping in there, but he said I was worth it so I don't feel guilty
You kept saying,"there's a seahorse in my stomach, who's trying escape". This was after the curtains attacked you.
On a not really funny at all but kinda brighter note I've gotten really good at texting in hand cuffs
You pole danced in your parka.
My roommates don't agree with the whole tv in the bathroom idea. Fucking barbarians.
i was so unappreciative the bar was giving out sweatbands UNTIL I casually used it during sex.
Please note that in response to your post about your dog's jaws clamped hard around a stick, I did not comment, "Takes after his dad." You're welcome.
He was watching porn and riding a stationary bike in the living room
Randomize
