lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
I just took a girl with a hip brace and crutches on a date. she obviously can't bone. is it rude to demand a blowjob?
elementary school lunch room party. everyone brings their own lunch and can trade stuff. all juice is booze.
No, I was feeling sad because all of the other girls were like model-skinny. But then I remembered that I had big boobs and went to hit on their boyfriends.
i told him i was sober and he walked away immediately.
You said that my dog would "complete your puzzle" then you got naked and took it behind the bar
i just want to be sober by dinner like is that too much to ask
It was close. I was the girl scoping out where all the garbage cans were located in the class just in case.
This is why you don't heavily drink before 2 midterms.
I woke up to the sound of him repeatedly tapping out SOS in Morse Code using his hard cock.
When she says 'Polish hangover cure' she just means more vodka. Don't do it.
Sorry about my life...
I left him on his mom's lawn after he passed out in my lap and told me my vagina smells like flowers. Couple of the year award
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I just got a snapchat of a flaccid penis with the caption "happy belated valentine's day." What did I do to deserve this
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