haha it's okay then, bc he only killed a canadian, they're not real people
so i told her that taking semen on the face helps make your skin smoother.
and?
luckily she was drunk enough to believe she had really bad acne...
Sleepwalking naked until I was 12 made it so much easier to get away with drinking at moms now.
My vagina has become a graveyard for my brother's friendships...
Our drug dealer just got busted, wear black tmrw
I remember key bumps, porn and a mom in my bed. Sums up my day.
that is an amazing summary hahaha
Ive never seen one person more proud of themselves of peeing in public and getting away with it.
I think someone cast a spell on the lazy stoner rich boy stereotype and it came to life and called me.
We celebrated our relationship by shotgunning beers on his lawn in our underwear. I may have to marry this man...
Remember that guy that walked around our house naked with a boner wearing nothing but his winter coat? Well, he has a kid now.
I don't think he knows you can have sex sober...
Shit facedness and cuddling are what you have to look forward to this evening.
I'm just letting you know right now in advance that if I die or go to the hospital or end up in jail tonight it's because your kid sold me mushrooms.
Will exercising make me less horny?
I just woke up naked in a bed with your brother. WHAT THE HELL HAPPENED TO NOT LETTING EACH OTHER DO STUPID THINGS?
You fucked my brother?!
Randomize
