Hey, It's Lauren. i wanted to talk to you tonight. I like you, as you know because kyle told you. I was wondering if you liked me too?
Are you in the third fucking grade? Check yes or no.
i have nine cents in my fucking bank account... not even a dime
Just grabbed my laptop and a beer to take a shit. Mom gave me a look of disgust. I miss college.
bars should really give you discounts for bringing your own shot glass
She says I'm cute and I remind her of her brother. She's too hot to back out now. I don't know. I'm guna go for it.
I'm thinking we can stop tracking my sex life by the hotels I've hooked up in and instead use bar bathrooms I've gotten head in.
Pants off. Spirits lifted.
I woke up in confetti... confetti and shame
Going to the bathroom drunk while wearing overalls is such a struggle
Deciding whether to take my sex toys home for Christmas will be the biggest decision I make this holiday season
Go makeout with Mickey Mouse so we can get FastPass tickets
Well, we 69'd in the Jacuzzi. If that tells you the kind of night I had. Neither of us knew we could hold our breath that long. Deff. Most. Dangerous. Sex. Ever.
we didn't have sex though. because i have the will power of an ox.
within five minutes of being here her dog found my vibrator in my bedroom and was carrying it around all proud! and her mom is here. so embarrassing :(
My co-worker accidentally texted me regarding the threesome him and other one are planning.
Randomize
