I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
i don't mind that he's uncut. i like it! it's like a little sweater!
a cock doensn't need a sweater! especially a skin sweater! wtf.
That's like some buffalo bill hannibal lector shit.
And if you don't call me, I will embarrass you publicly with a can of spray cheez.
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
i seriously have like 9 pictures of people taking shots out of a vag on my camera....
Apparently there was a point in the night that they literally thought he was dead, ass naked on the floor. That bad.
Thanks to this cookie, I have now eaten something other than skittles today.
You should know that Team Beyonce's Vagina dominated in pong last night
My drug dealer just made me weigh out my own weed because he was in the middle of taking his law enforcement final
Give me a minute. I'm trying to buy moonshine from a railroad worker named "Cowboy."
She touched my penis and started laughing. She did the same thing when she blew me.
Dude. He almost took three different girls home, all while dressed up as Amy Winehouse. If he goes as Kurt Cobain next weekend, we're screwed.
Omg drank too much. Threw up in my Santa hat on the train and then of course it leaked all over me.
I'll call you on my way home
Oh my god I'm going to die between now and then... can you at least tell me if y'all hooked up???
I just upped my southern womanhood. Taking whiskey and Kleenex pocket packs to the funeral.
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