Im glad youre not pregnant with that New Jersey assholes baby. Your vagina would have smelled worse than Newark.
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
Okay you totally passed out. Ask me about the bike parking garage and the expired baby formula in the morning.
you thought your tounge was "malfunctioning" because every time u spoke it wouldnt sit still.
there's chicken and sequins in our bathroom sink. part of me almost wants to know what happened
he locked me out then poked me with a fork when i tried to get in through the window
I want to take my head off and cuddle with it
Maybe it will forgive me and stop being an asshole
We fist bumped behind their backs while drunk hooking up with them... Do other girls do this too? Or is it just us?
If you got me high enough to laugh at a ceiling fan until I shat my pants you should at least have the decency to buy me another pair
Pregnancy has ruined porn for me. I can't watch a hot chick get it on without being jealous of her perfectly waxed shit. I can't even see my shit.
I feel like it is our duty to make homophobic people more afraid of us. They're never going to change, but maybe we can get to a "wrath of god" kind of worship-him-or-he'll-destroy-you-with-his-care-bear-stare type thing.
Ur dad just showed me a tit pic he got omf
So, just how hungover are you?
Not at all, surprisingly.
That has to be your X-Men power.
Thus began an intricate shell game of nude cardigan photos
Nothing personal but yes I would be suspicious If I saw 3 guys and 2 girls in the same bathroom stall together
Randomize
