We were both sleeping and she woke up and just puked i feel so bad for everyone around us
so he went down on me and i thought i heard him say "you're smelly" to my vagina
i got awkward and finally asked him what he said
he actually said "you want some dick?" to my vagina. which is worse? either way he's talking to it
and the mascot is a pinecone. its really no surprise that people here dont get laid
So, I just pissed in her shampoo bottle. Hope she enjoys a late golden shower from me.
we were having sex and the sweat made her make up run... seriously laid there and watched her face just melt into ugly.
I made him drop me off at the wrong house waited for him to leave and crawled through several fences so he couldnt stalk me. How was your night?
I'm drinking with 3 chicks and 1 gay dude. 100% chance I'm getting laid and 75% chance I'll enjoy it.
I am at the point where deciding not to drink alone is worth a rocky music montage in and of itself.
At some point last night Lemondrops turned into me doing shots of vodka and eating sugar packets at the bar.
You're making her cookies in enchange for knitting lessons. You will die a virgin.
you told that cab driver that when the 3 of us come togehter it means happiness and love
I did a hand stand against the glass wall at Ziggy's with no panties on and got 3 phone numbers. Thank God I shaved this morning...
There should be an app that tazers me in my pocket when I'm spending too much money at the bar. Take a hint, Android Network. You slut.
He tripped and fell all the way to the ground and then stood right back with out spilling a drop of his 3/4 full glass of rum and coke. It was like watching something from the matrix
Pillow talk was a high five, this morning she made dinosaur muffins for the house. I love chapel hill
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